脱口秀 – 七彩泡泡 ✌︎(❛‿˂̵✧)

巅峰拍档：巴塔哥尼亚特辑(上) （2014）– 经典英文台词、英语剧本原文翻译、中英文字幕对照

帕布莉卡 — Sun, 30 Apr 2023 01:32:15 +0000

Hello and welcome to the eleventh Top Gear Special, which for once
欢迎收看11期Top Gear特辑
is actually being transmitted quite close to the birthday of baby Jesus.
同时也是最接近圣诞的一♥期♥特辑
Unless you’re watching a repeat.
除非你看的不是直播
Yes, James.
没错，詹姆士
Unless you’re watching a repeat. Well, it’s quite confusing…
除非看的录播听起来很绕口…
Anyway.
不管怎样
2014 marked the 60th anniversary of the cheap-to-make,
2014年是世界第一台轻量化
maximum-bangs-for-your-bucks small block V8.
实用化V8引擎诞生60周年纪念日
And the producers thought it would be a good idea for us
所以制片人认为今年
to celebrate the moment.
值得大书特书
Yes, especially since,as a lot of people are saying,
没错，特别是近年来
owing to environmentalism,the need for greater fuel economy,
越来越多环保主义者声称要提高燃油效率
the V8 could soon be a thing of the past.
于是V8被推倒了风口浪尖
Quite, so the producers told us to buy three old V8-powered cars and
是的，所以制片人要求我们买♥♥三辆老款V8车
report with them to a hotel near the town of Bariloche here
并驾驶它们前往巴里洛切一家旅馆向他报道
in Argentina.
位于阿根廷某处
This was the meeting point,
这是集♥合♥地
in the middle of what’s billed at Argentina’s Lake District.
位于阿根廷湖区腹地
And I was the first to arrive in a magnificent Porsche 928 GT.
我驾驶保时捷928GT第一个到达
That is quite a view and this is quite a car.
美景配好车
I have always loved 928s, cos they were just so futuristic.
我一直深爱928，因为它很未来派
I mean this car is 23 years old
虽然这车已经23岁了
and it looks like it was designed yesterday.
但看起来像新款车
And it was the last good-looking car that Porsche ever made.
它也是保时捷设计的最后一辆漂亮车
And, although it’s a V8, it’s quiet and dignified and elegant.
虽然是V8引擎，但却十分安静典雅
If this were a person, it would go to embassy cocktail parties
如果把它比作人，他就是位身着燕尾服
and know many things.
出入高级社交圈的绅士
Traditional V8s would push you in the swimming pool
而传统V8车主喜欢参加泳池派对
and then fart and think it was funny.
把放屁声当作乐趣
Traditional V8s -well, like this, for example –
传统V8，就像来的这货
they’re brash and they’re loud and they’re childish.
杀马特、扰民外加幼稚
What have you done, Hammond?
你买♥♥了个啥，哈蒙德？
Oh, yeah! There it is –
是的！如你所见
not just A V8 – the definitive V8.
这不只是台普通V8 – 而是V8标杆
Is it? Ford Mustang, the Mach One.
是吗？福特野马，马赫1型
Look at it.
瞧瞧
It’s a bit… It’s brilliant. ..unnecessary.
有点…很棒..浮夸
No, it’s not…That’s the whole point of it.
不，一点也不…这才是精髓
It’s stripped down. Everything on it is functional, purpose…
简洁明快，设计合理…
Is it? Yes. This rear spoiler – what does it do? Nothing.
是吗？是的。这尾翼 – 有啥用？没用
Does the front splitter do anything?
前扰流板有用吗？
No. Racing fuel filler cap?
没。赛道风格油箱盖？
No, it’s just a cover.
没，只是装饰
Is the engine 19 feet long?
这引擎有19英尺长？
No, no, it’s not.
没有
Why then has it got a 19-foot bonnet?
为啥车头弄这么长？
Well, because they decided they wanted to make the Mustang
因为70年代流行长车头
bigger in ’71, so they did and they did that by…just making it bigger.
所以他们就…把引擎做得很大
This is all just pointless?
难道不是没必要吗？
No, it’s bigger.
不，大就屌♥
And that is the ram air, and that’s a Edelbrock carb underneath it,
这是增压进气口，下面是化油器
the plenum there, it all go…It works.
增压器，井井有条…一切正常
I mean, if I were nine, it would be tremendous, but I’m not.
如果我今年9岁，我会觉得这很棒，但我不是
I mean, it’s all just preposterous.
这看起来太愚蠢了
It’s brilliant is what it is! It’s the essence of V8ness.
它很棒！这才是真正的V8
Shall we just turn our attention now to the elephant that ISN’T in the room.
我们聊聊迟到的那家伙吧
Uh, yeah.
行
Captain Lost. What do you think the…?
失踪船长。你猜他…?
I don’t know, I’ve been thinking, I don’t know.
不知道，但我想过
Had to be a V8,so I thought it’ll be a Mercedes.
既然是V8，我猜他会挑辆奔驰
He’ll have gone,like he did in Botswana, solid.
就像上次在博茨瓦纳
Er, I thought, I reckon he’s gone for Range Rover.
我觉得他会弄辆揽胜
In fact we couldn’t have been more wrong.
但我们都错了
No way! That is not him!
不是吧！是他吗？
Not serious!
不是吧！
He’s gone completely mad!
他疯了！
I bet he thinks he’s Bond.
我打赌他幻想自己是007
He does think he’s Bond. Don’t say anything about his suit. No.
他YY自己是邦德。别提他的衣服
Hi.
嗨
Gentlemen. The Lotus Esprit.
先生们。莲花精灵
Isn’t it?
是吗？
Twin turbo V8.
双涡轮V8
Have you been on a Top Gear Special before?
你录过之前的特辑吗？
I’ve seen you on them. Yes. You have, I’ve seen you there.
我看过你的特辑。我看过你
Yes, I have, I have.
是的，我录过
James, they’re tough. Yeah.
詹姆士，这车很烂。没错
Some viewers don’t know this
虽然有些人不知道这点
but Lotus does not have a good reputation for quality.
但莲花质量的名声很糟
Some say that this stands for Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.
有人解释这标志的意思是：莲花莲花、修车不断
It has a hand-built V8 engine with two turbo chargers
它的双涡轮V8引擎纯手工打造
designed by a specialist small British car-making company.
由一小群英国专家设计
And that is a byword for reliability and motoring pleasure.
这意味着质量与驾乘感的完美保障
We know that.It’s just not, and you know that.
人人皆知。才不是，你知道真♥相♥的
Can we just run through some of the detailing on it?
我们看看细节如何？
Carry on.
请便
The door handles on this model are from a Vauxhall Cavalier.
门把手来自沃克斯豪尔骑士
Correct.Door mirrors are from a Citroen.
是的。后视镜取自雪铁龙
Don’t touch it.
别碰它
Uh, the gearbox in this is from a Renault 25.
波箱偷的雷诺25
Correct.
没错
Because that was the best gearbox they could find?
因为这是当时最好的波箱？
Or the only one that would fit?
又或仅此一款适合？
It was the only one that would fit.
仅此一款适合
And of course the body is made from exactly the same
车身材料和马桶盖一样
material as a lavatory seat.Or a bucket.
也可能是塑料桶
Anyway, have you finished being envious of my car?
对我的车损完了吗？
If I can move on, the Porsche 928.
看看你们的车，保时捷928
Yes. Fascinating. Hammond!
是的，很棒。哈蒙德！
Wowzers! I do like that,
真骚啊！我很欣赏
in a slightly Richard Hammondy sort of way. Is that a Mach One?
和你风格很搭。马赫1型？
It certainly is.
是的
Ho-ho-ho-ho! Yeah, yeah.
嚯嚯嚯嚯！
Look at that. Tell me that isn’t magnificent… ..ly boring.
瞧我的。别说不拉风…略无趣
It isn’t.I’m glad it’s grey, though. Why?
才不是。我爱这色调，为啥？
Well, because it’s very businesslike.
这颜色很好卖♥♥
You can advise me on my mortgage later on.
你能把它开来我的抵押公♥司♥换钱
I am, as always, the voice of reason and wisdom on this programme.
一如既往，我的话就是理性与客观的存在
We could have bickered forever but at this point our challenge arrived.
当我们喋喋不休时挑战到了
“You will now drive 130 miles to the house where Butch Cassidy lived
你们要驾车前往130英里外的布奇·卡西迪故居
“when he was on the run from the law.”
那是他逍遥法外的地方
130 miles? Hang on – that’s it?
130英里？等等 – 这就完了？
That’s somewhere interesting.
有趣的地点
I thought there was going to be another, you know…
我以为还有其它的，你懂的…
there’s usually the other paragraph.
通常还有后文
To where Butch Cassidy lived? I’d love to go there.
去布奇·卡西迪故居。我喜欢
I love Butch Cassidy
我超爱布奇·卡西迪
and my favourite film in the entire world is Butch Cassidy.
我最喜欢的电影就是虎豹小霸王
And all I’ve got to do is drive a Porsche 928
这次我要做的就是驾驶保时捷928
130 miles to get there on roads.
一路狂飙130英里
Try saying it this way – all he’s got to do is drive a Lotus Esprit 130 miles.
换个说法 – 某人要驾驶莲花精灵130英里
I can see now where they’re going with this.
我能想象前景了
Oh, yeah, yeah.They’ve tailored it for you.
噢，没错。这任务简直是为你量身定制的
Amazed at the apparent easiness of our challenge,
喜洋洋接受任务后
we fired up the V8s..
我们点燃了各自的V8
and plunged into the magnificence of Argentina’s heartland.
向阿根廷内陆驶去
The roads are lovely. Proper roads,paved, very pretty.
路况很好。铺装路面
I think the producers have lost it.
我猜制片人哪根筋搭错了
I’d turn over if I were you. I wouldn’t watch this.
如果我是你，我肯定换台了
Three comfortable middle-aged men driving lovely cars.
三位大叔开着三辆豪车
That’s not…that’s not really very good television.
一点也没吸引力

巅峰拍档：巴塔哥尼亚特辑(下) （2014）– 经典英文台词、英语剧本原文翻译、中英文字幕对照

帕布莉卡 — Sun, 30 Apr 2023 01:32:13 +0000

Hello and welcome to the second part of the Top Gear Christmas Special,
大家好，欢迎收看Top Gear圣诞特辑下集部分
the part where…
这集内容…
it all goes wrong.
出了点状况
As you probably saw in the first programme, we were doing
如各位上集所知
an homage to the V8, driving all the way across Patagonia,
我们向V8引擎致敬，一路穿越巴塔哥尼亚
from the town of Bariloche here,
从巴里洛切
on our way to Ushuaia in Tierra del Fuego.
前往火地岛的乌斯怀亚
Now Ushuaia is the city from which the battleship Belgrano sailed
乌斯怀亚这座小城源自马岛战争中
on its final voyage at the beginning of the Falklands War,
贝尔格拉诺号♥战舰最后一次起航的地点
and as a result of that,the British are not…
因此英国在当地的名声…
overly popular down there.
不怎么好
In a bid to build bridges,we were planning to build a stadium
为了消融两国的坚冰，我们计划在当地建一座球场
when we got there, and play an Argentinian team at car football.
和阿根廷队来场友谊的汽车足球赛
However, there was a problem.
然而，事与愿违
Someone on an Argentinian website
一些阿根廷网友发现
noticed that the car I was driving sported the number plate H982 FKL
我们的车牌号♥码有H982 FKL的字样
and they wondered if perhaps this was a reference
于是好事者开始脑补我们是在
to the 1982 Falklands War.
暗喻1982年的马岛战争
Now we’d been made aware of the issue shortly after we arrived
抵达阿根廷之后我们马上意识到了这一问题
in Argentina but there was nothing really we could do.
然而时间仓促我们也毫无办法
I mean, you can’t just change a car’s number plates.
我意思是不能换个车牌草草了事
We did, however, develop a plan that would solve the issue
但我们也制定了一套
when we arrived in Ushuaia.
抵达乌斯怀亚后的解决方案
Unfortunately, as you will see at the end of what follows,
不幸的是，在本集结尾各位会看到
we were never given the chance.
我们没机会办到了
1,600 miles
1600英里（2575英里）
in a Lotus?
用莲花？
Petrified forests, mysterious lakes.This is all very odd.
化石丛林，神秘的湖泊。一切都那么诡异
Not looking, not looking,not looking, not looking.
别看外面，别看外面，别看外面，别看外面
Ow!
嗷！
Oh.
哦
I think Hammond really loves that Mustang.
我觉得哈蒙德爱死他的野马了
Ow!
嗷！
I’ve lost another gear.
又一个档位挂了
It’s your route, it’s your route.This road, it’s killing the car!
你的破路线，毁了我的车！
The dashboard is a Christmas tree and the car has stopped.
故障灯全亮了，车熄火了
It’s dead. The Porsche is dead.
保时捷完了
It’s all very well being rude about the people of Norfolk
虽然诺福克郡人做事很粗糙
but so far they seem to have built the best car.
但他们确实造了一辆很棒的车
If you’ll say, “Jeremy, your car is not boring,” I will give you a tow.
如果你说“杰瑞米，你的车一点也不无趣”我就拉你出来
I know who it is.
我知道他是谁
That’s their idea of a comedy back-up car.
这就是他们给咱准备的备用车
I couldn’t do that. Could you do that? How can they do that?
我做不到。你做得到吗？他们怎么做到的？
Stop doing Butch Cassidy things,please. Not now.
别再扯电影了
Why have you fitted my car with a brake light on the dashboard?
为什么给我仪表台装刹车灯？
Every bone in their crotches.
我要敲断你们身上的
That’s what I’m going to break.
每根骨头
We began day six in Argentina on yet another
旅程第六天，我们继续着
one of Patagonia’s endless gravel roads.
永无止境的碎石路
70 miles now and I haven’t seen a corner or another car.
走了70英里连个鬼都没碰到
70 miles.
70英里
Mustang country.
野马的天堂
As this was quite monotonous, I decided we should do some cornering.
由于太单调，我决定找点乐子
So I hatched a plan.
于是我想到个主意
You know what this is, don’t you?
知道这是什么地方吗？
Dried-up lakebed. Yeah, it is.
干涸的湖泊
It WAS a dried-up lakebed.
没错
I see it now as a racetrack.
在我眼里却是条赛道
Yeah.
聪明
We could replicate any track in the world here, and we shall.
我们能把世上任意一条赛道复♥制♥到这
I therefore decided to make a carbon copy
于是我决定把我的最爱
of our favourite circuit,
复♥制♥过来
Imola.
伊莫拉
So here we go – this is the Tamburello I’m making, here.
开始画圈 – 这里是坦布雷诺弯
It’s a long, sweeping left-hander.
一个又长又大的左手弯
Through the “S”s, like so.Lovely job.
然后是S弯，像这样。漂亮
That’s a lovely corner, there.I’ve just made a lovely corner.
漂亮的弯道，我刚完成了一个完美的弯道
Right, good.
很好
The track is made.
赛道完成
I must confess, the finished product looked more like a placenta
必须承认，虽然最终作品像个胎盘
than Imola, but we were all looking forward to staging
但我们更期待
the inaugural V8 desert marathon.’
V8在这里的表现
I’m going to turn petrol into dust and noise.
我要好好飙一把
In three… How many laps?
跑3…跑几圈？
50? Many.
50圈？很多圈
Let’s do 100.
那就100圈
In three, two, one.
3、2、1
Hit it.
开始
Short shifting into second.
切二档
And into third, and already my lead is commanding and excellent.
挂三档，已经拉开了领先距离
You BLEEP!
你这XX！
They think you’re all boring.
他们说你乏味
Whoa, you’re not boring now!
哇噢，你现在生龙活虎！
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
嚯嚯嚯嚯！
Oh, I’m on the inside of James, here.
噢，我卡住了詹姆士的内线
Sod it. Ah!
该死！
Hammond is going like a crazy man.
哈蒙德像个疯子似的
Go on, Stang, go on, fella.
冲啊，野马！
Whoo-hoo, that was a… Ah!
唔，这是…啊！
That way’s… Oh, no – I’ve gone wrong!
这个弯是…噢不 – 我走错了！
Heroic manoeuvre from the mighty Mustang.
野马又一次漂亮的超越
That is James May coming through.
詹姆斯·梅赶上来了
Argh! Damn and blast!
呃！该死！
Got him.
咬住了
Oh, no!
哦不！
In the next half hour,there were more overtaking moves
接下来半小时里发生的超车次数
than you get in a whole season of Formula 1.
比F1过去一整年的还多
It was brilliant.
太棒了
Hammond and I are…
哈蒙德和我
Yes, we are side by side.
并驾齐驱
The most almighty battle.Like gladiators, but a bit fatter.
激动人心的战斗，就像角斗士，只是胖了点
Oh, really wide.
太宽阔了
Yep, that is a Lotus Esprit – famed throughout the world
是的，莲花精灵糟糕的可靠性
for being one of the most unreliable cars ever made.
世界闻名
And look at it.
但大家看啊
Oh, nicely done.
干的漂亮
I can’t see anything. Wah!
什么也看不见了。啊！
This is an endurance race.
这是场拉力赛
That’s what you need to remember.because the Mustang will break.
各位应该知道，野马迟早会抛锚
And sure enough…
果不其然…
Ooh, that was a…
噢，不…
Argh! Argh!
啊啊！
‘I called a halt before anything else went wrong.
我立即要求暂停比赛以防再出意外
‘But it already had.’
但意外还是出了
Oh, my God.
哦天
Things you want in your carburettor – fuel, air and that’s it.
化油器里 – 应该只存在汽油和空气
You don’t want rocks.
你不想在里面瞧见石头
Well, it was definitely time to stop.
好吧，终止比赛
Yeah. Draw, shall we call it a draw? Yes. We can call it a draw. Yes.
算平手怎么样？好的，不分胜负
Do you remember where the road was?
谁记得我们从哪条路过来的？
Which side did we come onto the lake? That side, I think.
我们从哪来的？那边，我猜
No, we didn’t. We came from that side. No, we didn’t.
不。我们从那边来的。不
We had the hills to our right,so I still think it’s over there.
来时右边有座山，所以应该是那边
Well, we didn’t drive over this stuff to get to the lake, did we?
我们没有疯到湖的另一边，对吗？
Yeah, but we could have been round it. I think we came in from there.
没错，但我们一直在绕圈。我猜咱是从那边过来的
‘Unable to agree,I put myself in charge
意见不一致，我又主动带头
‘and told the others to follow.’
让他们跟随我前进
I’m telling you, it’s back that way.
我说过应该朝那边走
I know he’s got the most brilliant sense of direction in the world…
我知道他有世界第一的方向感…（反话）
This was a mistake.
这是个错误

欧阳万成：好交易（2020）– 经典英文台词、英语剧本原文翻译、中英文字幕对照

帕布莉卡 — Sun, 30 Apr 2023 00:22:13 +0000

女士们先生们掌声欢迎
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage
欧阳万成
Jimmy O. Yang!
大家好啊
How’s everybody doing?
好好
Yes, yes.
谢谢大家
Thank you.
感谢大家来看我表演
Thank you guys very much for coming out.
怎么样啊漂亮帅气的各位
What’s up, y’all beautiful people?
你们太棒了伙计们
This is great, man.
你们先坐下吧
You guys can have a seat now.
先坐下吧
You guys can have a seat.
谢谢谢谢大家
Thank you, thank you so much.
我的亚洲朋友们在哪呢亚洲朋友们
Where my Asian people at, Asian people?
嘿
Hey!
你们也出门了啊
You came out!
我们出来就是亚洲人的代表啊各位
We’re out here representing, man.
不得不说我们亚洲人这几年的日子
I got to say, it’s been a couple of good years for us
好过了不少是吧
Asians, right?
去年不就有一部电影叫摘金奇缘
We had “Crazy Rich Asians” last year.
那可是我们的高光时刻啊
That was a huge moment for us, yeah.
林书豪拿了冠军
Jeremy Lin won a championship…
因为他什么也没做
for doing nothing.
这可是第一个拿到参与奖的亚洲小子
He’s the first Asian kid to receive a participation trophy.
我们得为他骄傲终于啊
We got to be proud of him, finally.
这几年真的是太好了朋友们
It’s great, great couple of years, man.
但这也就是最近的事
But this is recent history.
不知道你们还记不记得
I don’t know if you guys remember this.
就在三年前还有一部电影名叫
Just three years ago, there was a movie
长城
called “The Great Wall”–
马特·达蒙主演的真有这部电影哦
starring Matt Damon. It was a real movie.
马特·达蒙在古代中国
It was Matt Damon in ancient China
大战巨龙和其他妖魔鬼怪而且所有人都在说英语
fighting dragons and shit, and everybody spoke English?
我就想说这他妈什么玩意
I said, what the fuck is this?
但你们要知道我并不是在生马特·达蒙的气好吧
But you got to understand. I’m not mad at Matt Damon, OK?
他只是个演员他也要谋生的嘛
He’s an actor. That’s what he does for a living.
要演戏才能拿到钱嘛我能理解
That’s how he gets a check. I get it.
要是有人出钱让我主演一部名叫
If somebody were to offer me a lead role in a movie called
总统山的电影
“Mount Rushmore,”…
我要把演乔治·华盛顿演活
I would play the shit out of George Washington,
你们明白我意思吧
you know what I mean?
你愿意死我就愿意埋
No shame in my game.
可以的话我就演乔治·华盛顿·卡佛
I’ll play George Washington Carver if they let me.
顺便一提我后说的是个黑人不知道你们知不知道
That’s a black guy, by the way. I don’t know if you know.
总要有人代表嘛是吧
Gotta represent, man.
我在外面街上看到一大群人
I see a lot of people out here in the streets,
他们想过来找我但他们好像不太确定
they want to come up to me, but they’re not really sure.
他们一群朋友中有人在争论
There’s a lot of debate amongst their friends.
嘴里说着嘿兄弟你确定那个就是他吗
They’re like, hey, man, are you sure that’s him?
要是上去的话就必须确定是他
If we go up there, we got to be sure.
因为如果我们上去了但不是他
Because if we go up there and it’s not him,
我们就像是种族主义者了
we’re gonna look super racist.
你确定那个不是郑肯吗
Are you sure that’s not Ken Jeong?
不知道感觉有点像是黄阿丽
I don’t know. It looks kind of like Ali Wong.
我不知道啊
I don’t know.
然后他们上来找我了结果他们第一句话
And they come up to me, it’s always like, the first thing
经常就是嘿伙计你不就是那个
they say, like, hey, hey, man, aren’t you
电视剧硅谷里面的杨建吗
that dude Jian-Yang from that show “Silicon Valley”?
然后我就说谢谢
And I’m like, oh, thanks.
谢谢你
Thank you.
是是我是我谢谢你
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you.
谢谢你非常感谢我就是他
Thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah, I am.
然后他们就说卧♥槽♥ 我都不知道
And then they’re like, oh, shit, I didn’t even know
你现实中竟然也说英语啊
you speak English in real life!
我就想那才叫表演啊妈的智障
I’m like, it’s called acting, motherfucker.
就好比说是你该不会真以为马特·达蒙曾经是个中国人吧
Like, did you really think Matt Damon was Chinese?
你到底怎么想的
Like, what’s wrong with you?
我不明白这种脱节的想法
I don’t know what the disconnect is.
比如说一个白人演员要是有英国口音
Like, if a white actor does a British accent,
那他就是表演家
he’s a thespian.
拿过奥斯卡
He wins an Oscar.
然后我要是有中国口音我就不是
If I do a Chinese accent, I’m automatically
美国人了
from the old country.
代表是很重要的各位
Representation matters, man.
很多亚洲朋友来找我都是很骄傲很友好的
A lot of Asian people come up to me, very proud, very nice.
他们会说吉米谢谢你代表了亚洲人
They’re like, Jimmy, thank you for represent the Asians, man.
我只能说嗯谢谢你
I’m like, eh, you’re welcome.
但你们都明白这不是我能选择的对吧
But you do understand, it’s not really a choice, right?
就是你一睁眼是个亚洲人那你也只能代表亚洲人啊
Like, when you wake up Asian, you can only represent Asians.
我总不能突然一天睁眼之后说是妈的
I couldn’t just wake up one day and be like, fuck it,
我今天要代表尼日利亚人了
I’m representing Nigerians today.
能代表亚洲人我很自豪
I’m very proud to represent Asians.
但同时呢也有很大的压力
But at the same time, there’s so much pressure.
不过说起来好像没有人去找马特·达蒙
Like, nobody ever went up to Matt Damon
然后说嘿马特谢谢你代表了白人
and be like, hey, Matt, thanks for representing the whites.
这听起来很怪
It sounds weird.
总感觉像是另一种对话了你们懂吧
That’s like a different conversation for some reason, you know?
要是有人来找我然后说嘿吉米
If somebody came up to me being like, hey, Jimmy,
我代表白人
I’m representing for the whites,
我会立刻离开那个城市
I would leave that town immediately
再也不回来了
and never come back.
做一个代表人物真的压力很大
So much pressure to represent.
我现在得随时随地做一个优秀的亚洲人了
I got to be a good Asian everywhere now.
到哪都得给点小费
I got to tip everywhere I go.
这倒也是个做亚洲人的
That was one of the major advantages
主要好处之一了我可以直接假装
of being Asian, is I could just pretend
不知道怎么给小费
I don’t know how to tip.
你们知道在中国的小费是什么吗
Y’all know what a Chinese tip is?
中国的小费不管你花了多少钱
Chinese tip, it doesn’t matter how big your bill is,
都只需要给两块钱那就是中
you tip $2. That’s a Chi–
那就是中国的小费各位
That’s a Chinese tip, man.
现在我到哪都得给20%的小费了
Now I got to tip 20% everywhere.
必须给每个优步司机五星好评
I got to give every Uber driver five-star ratings
这样才能做个优秀的代表人物
just so I can be a good representative.
我到哪都是在代表
Everywhere I go, I got to represent.
哪怕是日常杂七杂八的事就连在卧室我也是在代表
Even day to day shit, even the bedroom I got to represent.
有一次我勾搭上一个女孩之后
After I hooked up with this one girl,
她是这么跟我说的她说吉米
this is what she said to me. She was like, Jimmy,
我不知道怎么跟你说
I don’t know how to tell you this,
但你是我相处的第一个亚洲人
but you’re the first Asian guy I’ve ever been with.
我说哦
I’m like, OK.
不然你想要什么啊给你个幸运曲奇吗
What do you want, a fortune cookie?
还是说你
Like, wha–?
是吧你到底想要什么嘛
Like, what do you want?
她的表现像是刚刚解锁了一个街头霸王的
She acted like she just unlocked a new character
新角色一样
on Street Fighter or some shit.
你觉得说这句话有什么必要吗
Why do you feel the need to say that?
这个女孩说的话真的很不尊重人
This one girl said this shit that was so disrespectful.
这句话是我们在一起之后她跟我说的
This is what she said to me after we hooked up.
她说吉米我很高兴
She was like, Jimmy, um, I’m just
刻板印象不是真的
glad the stereotype’s not true.
你的阴♥茎♥还是不小的
You don’t have a small penis.
我说婊♥子♥ 你知道你刚才这句话侮辱了
I’m like, bitch, you understand you just insulted
我整个种族的人吗
my entire race of people?
但是谢谢你
But thank you.
首先谢谢你们觉得
First of all, thank you for thinking
我的阴♥茎♥不小也相信了我们做过爱
that I did have a small penis, and we still had sex.
你就是全场最佳
You’re the real MVP.
今晚给你发两个幸运曲奇女士
You get two fortune cookies tonight, miss.
谢谢你
Thank you.
但那个刻板印象真的很差劲是吧
But that’s a fucked up stereotype, right?
那根本不是事实就是个差劲的刻板印象
That’s not even true. That’s a fucked up stereotype.

路易·C·K 二〇一七（2017）– 经典英文台词、英语剧本原文翻译、中英文字幕对照

帕布莉卡 — Sat, 29 Apr 2023 08:09:03 +0000

打灯吧
Go ahead and do the lights.
开始吧
Go ahead.
女士们先生们有请Louis C.K
Ladies and gentlemen, Louis C.K.
大家好
Hello.
谢谢
Thank you.
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
谢谢大家
Thank you.
呃
Um…
我认为堕胎是呃
So, you know, I think abortion is, um… –
我
I…
我是这么认为的
Here’s what I think.
这是我的这是我的看法
Here’s what I. This is what I think.
这是我的看法我
Here’s what I think. I–
我认为你不应该堕胎
I think you should not get an abortion
除非你真的需要堕胎
unless you need one.
如果真的需要如果真的你最好把胎堕了
In which case– In which case, you’d better get one.
说真的
I mean, seriously.
如果你需要堕胎你最好把胎堕了
If you need an abortion, you’d better get one.
别不当回事
Don’t fuck around.
而且要赶紧堕
And hurry.
应该堕胎却没堕就跟憋着屎不拉一样
Not getting an abortion that you need is like not taking a shit.
就是这么糟糕
That’s how bad that is.
就跟憋着屎不拉一样
It’s like not taking a shit.
我就是这么认为的
That’s what I think.
我认为堕胎和拉屎是一回事儿
I think abortion is exactly like taking a shit.
我认为它和拉屎百分之百是一回事儿
I think it is 100% the exact same thing as taking a shit.
或者不是
Or it isn’t.
是或者不是
It is, or it isn’t.
它要么就是拉屎要么就是杀死一个婴儿
It’s either taking a shit, or it’s killing a baby.
只有这两种可能
It’s only one of those two things.
没其他的了
It’s no other things.
所以如果你不认为堕胎跟拉屎是一回事儿
So if you didn’t like hearing it’s like taking a shit,
那你就认为堕胎是杀死婴儿了
you think it’s killing a baby.
这是你唯一的选项了
That’s the only other one you get to have.
也就是说你应该在人流医院门口
Which means you should be holding a sign
举着反对堕胎的牌子
in front of the place.
人们不喜欢抗♥议♥堕胎的人
People hate abortion protesters.
说他们固执己见思想僵化
They’re so shrill and awful.
可他们认为婴儿正在被谋杀
They think babies are being murdered.
那他们应该怎么办 “呃这么做不太合适吧”
What are they supposed to be like? “Uh, that’s not cool.”
我不想为难人家
I don’t wanna be a dick about it, though.
我不想坏了他们的心情
I don’t want to ruin their day
他们天天都杀好几个婴儿挺不容易的
as they murder several babies all the time.
我不认为堕胎就是杀婴儿我不这么认为
I don’t think it’s killing a baby. I don’t.
我是说有那么一点相像
I mean, it is, it’s a little bit–
有点像是杀婴儿有点像
It’s a little bit killing a baby. It’s a little bit…
百分之百就是杀婴儿堕胎完全就是在杀婴儿
It’s 100% killing a baby. It’s totally killing a whole baby.
但是我觉得女性应该有权利杀死婴儿
But I think that women should be allowed to kill babies.
这就是我的看法
That’s what I think.
她们应该有权利杀死婴儿
They should be allowed to kill babies.
对
Yeah.
哇呜
Whoo!
我们可以杀婴儿
We get to kill babies!
我们喝点儿酒然后杀杀婴儿吧
Let’s do some shots and kill some babies.
我昨晚杀了四个婴儿简直特么了
I killed like four babies last night. It was fucking retarded.
我觉得只有这两种选项
I just think it has to be one or the other.
你知道当有人说
You know, like, when people say,
堕胎应该是合法的安全的而且少见的
abortion should be legal, safe and rare.
都合法了为什么还要少见
Why rare if it should be legal?
如果是合法的堕胎就和拉屎一样
If it should be legal, it’s– It’s shitting.
如果是少见的那堕胎就是谋杀婴儿
If it should be rare, it’s murdering babies.
但是再次强调女人有权利这么做因为
But, again, women should be allowed because…
两个原因为什么女人可以杀婴儿
Two reasons I think women should be allowed to kill babies.
第一我认为生命没那么重要
Number one, I don’t think life is that important.
它就是不
It’s just not.
不重要
It is not.
人们一提生命
People get too excited…
就激动 “噢生命啊”
about life. “Oh, life.”
去你♥妈♥的♥ 它可没那么
Fuck you. It’s not that–
所有的坏事儿都只会出现在生命里
Make a list of every shitty thing ever, that’s in life.
生命还凑合我喜欢生命
Life is okay. I like life.
我喜欢它但我不需要它
I like it. I don’t need it.
没它我也行
I’d be fine without it.
但我还是挺喜欢生命的真的
I like life, though. I do.
你知道我有多珍爱生命吗
You know how much I like life?
我从没自杀过
I have never killed myself.
这就是我热爱生命的程度
That’s how much I like it.
爱到跟自杀只有一个刀片的距离
That’s exactly how much I like it, with a razor-thin margin.
刚刚好不会自杀
I like it precisely enough to not kill myself.
自杀也是个选项非常正经的选项
It’s an option, though. It’s totally an option.
你想啊我49了有俩孩子
I mean, I’m 49. I have two kids.
预防自杀的小手册我还是翻过几遍的
I’ve flipped through the brochure a few times.
我有时候想自杀单纯为了吵架能吵赢
I’ve thought of killing myself just to win an argument.
你不能谈论自杀的事连跟你心理医生说也不行
You are not supposed to talk about suicide, even to your shrink.
你去看心理医生的时候他们会问
You ever go to a shrink and they’re like,
“你有没有过自杀的念头”
“Have you had thoughts… of suicide?”
你说 “没有因为如果我说有的话
And you’re like, “No, because if I say yes,
你就会按下按钮
you’ll press a button,
然后一群人就会跑过来把我按住”
and folks will run in and hold me–
“按住他”
“Hold him down!”
但是人们应该可以谈论自杀
You should be able to talk about it.
整个世界都是由
The whole world is just made of
今天没自杀的人组成的
people who didn’t kill themselves today.
包括来看演出的各位
That’s who’s here.
是由我们这些
It’s all of us that went,
“好吧去他妈的再坚持活着吧” 的人组成的
“Okay, fuck it, keep doing it.”
生活
It’s…
生活有一点很有趣
It’s an interesting thing about life.
生活可以很艰难很悲伤很沮丧
Life can get very difficult, very sad, very upsetting.
但是你不用非得坚持你真的不必坚持
But you don’t have to do it. You really don’t have to do it.
你不用做任何事
You don’t have to do anything.
你可以永远什么都不做因为你可以把自己杀了
You never have to do anything because you can kill yourself.
如果你收到了车管所的通知信说你得去干啥干啥
If they send you a letter from Motor Vehicles, you have to come in and:
“不我不用去我自杀”
“No, I don’t. I’ll kill myself.”
你可以这么做虽然只能做一次
You can do that. You can do that once.
但是你可以这么做
But you can do it.
有趣的是即使生活很糟糕
It’s interesting because even when life gets bad,
人们还是选择活着
people generally choose it over nothing.
即使是那种最差的生活那种屎一样的生活
Even the worst versions of life, even a shitty, shitty life,
也值得过下去至少看起来是这样的
is worth living, apparently.
因为很多人就是这么活的
‘Cause folks are living the fuck out of them.
你有没有见过那种
Have you ever seen somebody,
你觉得”他应该自杀算了”
you’re like, “He should kill himself.
他为啥不那家伙
Why did he not… that dude…”
比如你开车的时候
You ever been driving
看了眼旁边的车然后你就觉得 “呃我♥操♥
and you look in the next car, you’re like, “Ugh, shit.
我就不该多看那么一眼
I wish I hadn’t looked in that car.
那车看着就辣眼睛
That was difficult to glance at…
更不要说开了”
let alone being it.”
就是一个男的开着
Just a guy in a…
开着一辆褐色的车
In a tan car.
没人会选褐色
Nobody chooses tan.
没人买♥♥车会挑褐色
Nobody picks tan for their car.
都是卖♥♥♥车♥的直接给你的
They give you tan.
“这是我的车吗” “对就是你这个屌♥丝的褐色的”
“Is that mine?” “Yeah, it’s yours, fucking loser. Made it tan.”
他们就不应该生产褐色的车太不人道了
They shouldn’t even make tan cars. It’s mean to make them.
你望过去看到一个人坐在一辆满是凹痕的褐色车里
You look over, you see a guy in a tan car with dents all over it
挂着个垃圾袋儿当窗户使
and a garbage bag for a window.
他为什么还不自杀
What is holding up his suicide?
他在犹豫些啥
What is delaying it?

黄阿丽：小眼镜蛇（2016）– 经典英文台词、英语剧本原文翻译、中英文字幕对照

帕布莉卡 — Fri, 28 Apr 2023 10:16:06 +0000

先生们女士们有请黄艾丽
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage:
上台！
Ali Wong!
大家好！欢迎你们！谢谢大家！
Hi. Hello! Welcome! Thank you!
感谢大家的到来！你们好！
Thank you for coming. Hello!
你们好
Hello.
咱们得快点
We are gonna have to get this shit over with,
因为我十分钟后要去小便
’cause I have to pee in, like, ten minutes.
但是还是要十分感谢大家的到来
But thank you, everybody, so much for coming. Um…
今天我很兴奋我今年都很兴奋
It’s a very exciting day for me. It’s been a very exciting year for me.
今年我33岁
I turned 33 this year.
耶！谢谢你们稀稀拉拉的掌声
Yes! Thank you, five people. I appreciate that.
我知道自己在变老
Uh, I can tell that I’m getting older,
因为现在当我看到18岁的年轻姑娘
because, now, when I see an 18-year-old girl,
我就自动想到
my automatic thought…
去死吧
is “Fuck you.”
去死吧尽管我不认识你但是你去死吧！
“Fuck you. I don’t even know you, but fuck you!”
因为我嫉妒死了
‘Cause I’m straight up jealous.
首先也是最重要的我嫉妒她们的代谢功能
I’m jealous, first and foremost, of their metabolism.
因为18岁的姑娘敞开肚子吃
Because 18-year-old girls, they could just eat like shit,
然后排泄掉然后就是扁平的小腹对吧？
and then they take a shit and have a six-pack, right?
她们大腿内侧有美丽的缝隙
They got that-that beautiful inner thigh clearance
当她们合并双脚站着中间有个大缝隙
where they put their feet together and there’s that huge gap here
你能看见光从当中通过
with the light of potential just radiating through.
然后她们安然入睡
And then, when they go to sleep, they just go to sleep.
对吧？她们不会失眠
Right? They don’t have insomnia yet.
她们都不知道失眠药是何物
They don’t know what it’s like to have to take a Ambien
不用下载冥想节目来平静
or download a Meditation Oasis podcast
因对家庭的歉意或恨意
to calm the chatter of regret and resentment towards your family
乱如麻的心情
just cluttering your mind.
她们的人生似锦
They have their whole lives ahead of them.
她们还没染上人乳♥头♥瘤病毒
They don’t have HPV yet.
她们在夜晚舒服地入睡
They just go to sleep in peace at night.
大家都有这种病毒好吗？
Everybody has HPV, OK?
大家都有它没什么大不了
Everybody has it. It’s OK.
新闻都说了大家都有
Come out already. Everybody has it.
要是你还没有想法子传染上
If you don’t have it yet, you go and get it.
你想法子会感染上的
You go and get it. It’s coming.
要是你还没感染病毒你太失败了好吧？
You don’t have HPV yet, you’re a fucking loser, all right?
这就是大家对你的评价
That’s what that says about you.
许多男士不知道他们感染了这种病毒
A lot of men don’t know that they have HPV,
因为病毒在男性身上检测不出来
because it’s undetectable in men.
这太糟了病毒像住在男性体内的幽灵
It’s really fucked up. HPV is a ghost that lives inside men’s bodies
但却体现在女性身上
and says, “Boo!” in women’s bodies.
我的医生告诉我我有两种HPV病毒中的一种
My doctor told me that I have one of two strains of HPV.
一种会引发宫颈癌
Either I have the kind that’s gonna turn into cervical cancer…
另一种会被我的身体自行治愈
or I have the kind where my body will heal itself.
这医生不错对吧？
Very helpful, this doctor, right?
所以我要不死掉
So, basically, either I’m gonna die…
要不就去江湖上祸害其他人
or you’re in the presence of Wolverine, bitches. We’ll find out.
我觉得自己在变老
Um, I can also tell that I’m getting older,
还因为我的电子书变成了自助图书馆
because my Kindle is turning into a self-help library.
我对《五十度灰》不感冒好吗？
I’m not interested in books like Fifty Shades of Grey, OK?
我感兴趣的是《改变人生的整理魔法》
I’m interested in The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
没错比如如何简化我的房♥间
Yes. Yes, that’s right, how to declutter my home
以达到内心的平静和事业的成功
to achieve inner peace and my optimum level of success.
三十岁人的生活就这样我该怎么转动这鬼东西？
That’s what your 30s is all about. How can I turn this shit around?
我这人糟透了我对自己的人生不满意
I’m a horrible person, I’m not happy with where I am,
我该怎么转动这鬼东西？帮帮我托尼罗宾斯帮帮我！
how can I turn this shit around? Help me, Tony Robbins, help me!
我有囤积的毛病
I have a hoarding problem,
我希望它是我其他问题的根源所在
which I’m hoping is the center of all of my other problems.
我希望如果这个问题解决了病毒也会消失
I’m hoping that if the hoarding goes away, the HPV will also disappear.
我有囤积的毛病因为我母亲来自第三世界
I have a hoarding problem because my mom is from a third world country
她教育我永远不要丢弃任何东西
and she taught me that you can never throw away anything,
因为你不知道何时国家会被独♥裁♥者控制
because you never know when a dictator’s gonna overtake the country
你的财富就会被抢走
and snatch all your wealth.
所以你最好留着三年级的固定架
So, you better hold onto that retainer from the third grade,
因为或许将来当你往屁♥股♥里塞金子
’cause it might come in handy as a shovel
准备逃离共♥产♥主义者
when you’re busy stuffing gold up your butt
可以拿它当铲子用
and running away from the Communists.
上次我回旧金山的家
The last time I was at home in San Francisco,
我本来要帮她清理破烂的
I was trying to help her get rid of shit.
大家不要效仿那是我一生中最糟糕的经历
Don’t ever do that with your mom. It was like the worst experience of my life.
太情绪化
It was so emotional.
我们俩大喊大叫还动手最终高♥潮♥是
We were screaming and fighting and yelling and it all came to a climax
她不肯放手
when she refused to let go
一个老式计算器的
of a Texas Instruments TI-82…
说明书
manual.
是说明书她甚至都不知道
The manual. She don’t even know…
计算器去哪了
where the calculator is.
在座25岁以下的人
Those of you under 25
可能不知道什么是计算器
probably don’t know what that calculator is.
就是这个计算器欺骗了我们那一代人
It was this calculator that bamboozled my generation.
当我们读八年级时人手必备一个
We were all required to buy it when we were in eight grade.
售价约二百块
It cost like $200.
大家都以为这是朱迪杰森来自未来的笔记本
And everybody thought it was like this Judy Jetson’s laptop from the future.
为什么这么说呢？
All because what?
因为它有图表
It could graph.
它好比是当时的特斯拉车
It was like the Tesla of my time.
我母亲对说明书很有感情
And my mom got so emotional about the manual
她说：“人算不如天算”
and she was like, “You never know when you might need this.”
我说：“但是我知道
And I was like, “But… I do know…
你死后我得收拾这些破烂”
that I’m gonna have to clean all this shit up when you die.”
我要早点开始动手
“And I’m not trying to be a procrastinator anymore.
因为狄巴克乔布拉博士说
Because according to Deepak-Oprah,
那不利于我获得最大的成功
that’s not the way for me to achieve my optimum level of success.”
在过去的一年里我成长了不少
I grew up a lot this past year.
我结婚了
Uh, this past year I also got married.
耶
Yeah.
嫁给一个现在感染上病毒的男人
To a man who now has HPV.
他太幸运了
Very lucky guy.
他给我爱情
He gave me something.
我给他病毒
I gave him something.
两者都是一辈子的事情
That will also last forever.
说真的我是幸运的
No, really. I’m the lucky girl,
因为在他之前我约会过不少渣男
because before him, I dated a lot of losers.
很多渣男很多玩滑板的
Lots of losers. A lot of skaters.
你要是想当成熟♥女♥性就别再跟玩滑板的约会了
You wanna be a grown-ass woman, stop dating skaters.
别再约会玩滑板的人除非你想第二天在厨房♥的床垫上醒来
Stop dating skaters unless you wanna wake up on a mattress in a kitchen.
他们性感的外表下装的都是酒精
They’re sexy on the outside, malt liquor on the inside.
太可怕了
Horrible.
但是我的老公我们初次相遇是在婚礼上
But my husband, I first met him at this wedding
他比我好看多了
and, uh, he’s– he’s much better looking than me,
他跟我不是一个级别的
he’s way out of my league,
我看到他心想 “天啊他是谁？”
and I saw him and I was like, “Oh, my God, who is that?”
当时我了解到关于他的第一件事是
And the first thing I learned about him was that, at the time,
他在哈佛商学院读书
he was attending Harvard Business School.
我就想：“天啊我必须要泡他”
And I was like, “Oh, my God, I’m gonna trap his ass.”
“一定要泡他！”
“Going to trap his ass!”
我一开始追他
And I trapped his ass initially
但直到第五天我才亲了他
by not kissing him until the fifth date,
这不是我以往的风格
which is a very unusual move on my part.
我这是欲擒故纵
But I did it on purpose,
因为我知道他喜欢主动出击
because I knew that he was a catch.
所以我想“好吧艾丽你得想法让这哥们相信
So I was like, “All right, Ali, you gotta make this dude believe
你的身体就是一座秘密花♥园♥”
that your body is a secret garden.”
但其实是大众公园
When, really, it’s a public park…
举办过多次雷鬼群星汇
that has hosted many reggae fests…
甚至还偶然地留宿过
and has even accidentally let…
两个无家可归的人
two homeless people inside.
我以为他们是时尚人士好吧？
I thought they were hipsters, OK?

王胜：香甜多汁（脱口秀）（2022）– 经典英文台词、英语剧本原文翻译、中英文字幕对照

帕布莉卡 — Wed, 26 Apr 2023 01:51:28 +0000

我非常开心、荣幸、喜悦今晚能在这里
I am so happy and honored and overjoyed to be here tonight,
介绍我一位最好的朋友
introducing one of my best friends
还有我在全世界最喜欢的喜剧演员之一：
and one of my favorite comedians in the entire world:
王胜！
Sheng Wang!
黄阿丽各位黄阿丽
Ali Wong, everybody. Ali Wong.
谢谢非常感谢大家
Thank you. Thank you so very much.
能来这里我超级激动、感激
I am… super excited and grateful to be here.
你们知道随着年龄的增长
You know, as you get older,
你会第一次做很多事情
you do a lot of things for the very first time.
这就是成长的本质
This is the nature of growing up.
但有时候你会做你觉得自己永远不会做的事情
But sometimes, you do things you thought you would never, ever do.
比如我最近在好市多批发超♥市♥买♥♥裤子
Like, I recently bought pants from Costco.
这是件大事这是你人生的新篇章
That’s a big deal. That’s a new chapter in your life.
因为当你从好市多买♥♥裤子时你就不再在乎了
Because when you buy pants from Costco, that’s when you don’t care anymore.
那时候我们放下自我开始我们的精神之旅
That’s when we let go of our egos and we begin our spiritual journey.
对吧？
Right?
你听到别人说的话然后说
You hear people say stuff, and go,
“我不关心别人的意见我不在乎他们怎么想”
“I’m not concerned about others’ opinions. I don’t care what they think.”
那只是说说
“That is just talk.”
直到你买♥♥了好市多的裤子
Until you back it up with the Costco pants purchase.
这样你才能知道他是真心的他是真的不在乎
That’s how you let him know he for real. He don’t give a damn for real.
他想要柯克兰的裤子
He wanted the Kirkland pants.
别惹他们
Don’t mess with them.
当你看到有人穿着柯克兰牌的裤子时你知道两件事
When you see somebody wearing Kirkland pants, you know two things.
第一他们会不顾一切活下去
Number one, they do what it takes to live.
第二他们已经不怕死了
Number two, but they not afraid to die anymore.
因为好市多教你如何放手
Because Costco teaches you how to let go.
在我去店里之前在我的车上
Before I get to the store, in my car,
我做了快速的冥想和动员
I do a quick little meditation-slash-pep rally.
我觉得我们要去一个敌对的环境
I say we’re about to go to a hostile environment.
你已经知道会有一些不公平
You already know there’s gonna be some injustice.
肯定会有直截了当的暴行
There’s gonna be straight-up atrocities.
尽量说出来接受无法改变的事情
Speak up when you can, accept things you cannot change.
那就是好市多
That’s Costco.
如果我在八分钟内找不到停车位我就开走
If I can’t find parking in under eight minutes, I drive away.
放手兄弟没关系今天不行了
Let it go, dude. That’s okay. Today is not the day.
我不会强迫那是好市多我会像尊重大海一样尊重它
I’m not going to force it. It’s Costco. I’m gonna respect it like the ocean.
那不是我的行程那是月亮是潮水
That’s not my schedule. That’s the moon, that’s the tides.
好市多比我们所有人都宏大
Costco is bigger than all of us.
发生了很多变化我不知道这是什么时候发生的
A lot of change going on. I don’t know when this happened.
我最近才发现我喜欢的主流糖果店
I just recently found out that my preferred mainstream candy bar
现在是芒兹了
is now Mounds.
真是令人惊讶对吧？因为我们都知道
It’s just surprising, right? Because we all know
那很恶心
that’s gross.
太恶心了伙计
That’s gross, dude.
如果你不知道芒兹是什么它就像好时的快乐杏仁糖一样
If you don’t know what Mounds is, it’s like Almond Joy,
但没有杏仁
but there’s no almond.
没有快乐
There’s no joy.
有好多椰子
It’s a lot of coconut.
哦宝贝这糖充满了纤维
Ooh, baby, this candy is fibrous.
也许这糖果有益生元
Maybe this candy got prebiotics.
芒兹
Mounds
是个烂名字
is a bad name.
我不明白姊妹产品是快乐杏仁
I don’t get it. The sister product is Almond Joy.
这是关键的食材加上积极的情绪
That’s a crucial ingredient plus a positive emotion.
快乐杏仁这名字不错取名的人费心了
Almond Joy. Not a bad name. Somebody worked on that.
是谁批准了芒兹？
Who approved Mounds?
他们有看过产品吗？
Did they ever see the product?
因为它是棕色又有大颗粒的
Because it’s brown and chunky.
如果你只有痔疮这另一个选择那芒兹是个好名字
Mounds is a good name if your only other option was Piles.
我吃芒兹方式很奇怪我有自己的仪式
I eat my Mounds weird. I developed a little ritual of my own.
我要做的是打开糖果棒然后倒一些杏仁在旁边
What I do is I open my candy bar and then I pour a side of almonds.
这些是另外买♥♥的
These are a separate purchase.
然后我创造了自己的快乐
And then I make my own joy.
我把杏仁塞进我的芒兹里
I shove the almonds into my Mounds.
比普通的快乐杏仁快乐多了
Way more than you get from a regular Almond Joy.
我全都打包进去了真的很脆
I pack it all up in there, real crunchy.
然后我像吃狗药一样吃
Then I eat it like dog medicine.
我很幸运各位我很幸运老兄
I’m blessed, y’all. I’m blessed, dude.
但是有一些你一生都觉得
But some things you assume your whole life
会做的事但可能不会做
you thought you were gonna do, you might not get to.
我现在学到了这个你们知道直到最近
I’m learning this now, you know. Up until recently…
我还以为自己会拥有一栋房♥子
I thought I was gonna own a house.
我以为我会在东西海岸都拥有房♥产你们知道
I thought maybe I was gonna own property on both coasts, you know.
现在我觉得如果我有个更深的厨房♥水槽的话那就太好了
Now I’m like, man, it would be real nice if I had a deeper kitchen sink.
我想要那个我去了朋友家我说：
I want that. I went to my friend’s house, I was like,
“该死那好宽敞老兄”
“Dang, that’s spacious, dude.”
“太宽敞了你过得很好老兄”
“That’s so spacious. You live a good life, man.”
“恭喜”
“Congratulations.”
“我打赌无论你什么时候洗烤盘
“I bet whenever you wash your cookie sheets,
你都不会不小心把水弄到台面上对吧？”
you never accidentally flood your countertops, huh?”
哎呦
Oops.
你不知道我的生活我们不一样不一样老兄
You don’t know how I live. We different. We different, dude.
烤盘上能溅出的水量真是大到不可思议
It’s incredible how much water comes off of a cookie sheet, though.
太疯狂了总是有惊喜
It’s wild. It’s always a surprise.
就像是幻觉
It’s like an optical illusion.
它那么薄你不会把它当成是威胁
It’s so thin you don’t recognize it as a threat.
你可能累了稍微轻松一点警惕对吧？
You probably tired, get a little loosey-goosey with it, right?
突然咣！哦不！现在我的维生素都在泻湖里了
Suddenly, bam! “Oh no! Now my vitamins are in a lagoon.”
下次你有主妇的时候别拿桶拿一个烤盘
Next time you have a housewife, forget the bucket, grab a cookie sheet.
我一直在想在我年少的时候
I’ve been thinking about how, when I was younger,
我经常去书店充满了好奇
I used to walk into a bookstore full of wonder.
我小时候走进了一家书店
When I was a kid, I walked into a bookstore like,
看向所有这些我要学的东西
“Look at all this stuff I’m gonna learn.”
作为一个成年人我走进书店
As a grown-up, I walk into a bookstore like,
看向所有这些我永远不会知道的东西
“Look at all this stuff I’m never gonna know.”
很难兄弟你的无知按字母顺序整齐排列真的很难
Ooh. It’s hard, man. It’s hard to see your ignorance alphabetized.
我不喜欢这样
I don’t like that.
我在员工推荐区我心里想在这么多我不知道的东西中
I’m at the Staff Picks section. I’m like, “Of all the things I don’t know,
这些是员工布莱恩的最爱
these are Brian’s favorites.”
一次被这么多知识包围着会让人晕头转向
It’s overwhelming to be surrounded by so much knowledge all at once.
你看得很清楚但你不能拥有它
You can see it so clearly, but you can’t have it.
只是在逗你玩就像是智慧的脱衣舞俱乐部
It’s just teasing you, like a strip club for wisdom.
我每晚都试着读点书养成一个习惯你们知道吧？
I try to read a little bit every night. Make it a habit, you know?
唯一的问题是我入睡得太快了
The only problem is, I fall asleep too quickly
书比褪黑素还好使
Books are stronger than melatonin.
给你买♥♥本书吧老兄每页大概50毫克褪黑素
Just get you a book, dude. It’s about 50 milligrams a page.
很自然见效快副作用包括学习
It’s natural, it’s fast-acting. The side effects include learning.
八个小时没问题把书放在床边的床头柜上
Eight hours, no problem. Put the book on your nightstand by your bed.
你半夜醒来看到你的书又继续睡了
You wake up in the middle of the night, see your book, go back down.
不用了谢谢
No, thank you.
这是睡觉时间兄弟
It’s bedtime, bro.
我读了几周的书我还在看序言
I’ve been reading a book for a few weeks. I’m still at the preface.
那还不是书的正文兄弟
That’s not even the book yet, man.
在页码还是罗马字母的时候还不算数
It don’t count when the page numbers are still letters.
我总是带一本书你们知道在我巡演的时候
I always pack a book, you know, when I’m on tour,
在沙滩的下午在野餐的时候我总是带一本书
afternoon at the beach, a picnic, I always bring a book.
我只是不看
I just don’t read it.
我没有好好读书但我的书好好旅行了
I’m not well-read, but my books are well-traveled.
做我的书真好我带你看看这个世界姑娘
It’s nice to be my books. I’ll show you the world, girl.
我不知道… 我的时间管理需要做得更好
I don’t know– I got to be better about my time management, you know?
我不知道自己在这个世界上还有多少年
Like, I don’t know how many more years I’ll be on this world,
但以我现在的阅读速度
but, like, at the rate that I read right now,
我感觉我还剩下八本书的时间
I feel like I got about eight books left.
我必须明智地选择你们知道吗？
I gotta pick wisely, you know?
我收到了《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》的邮件
I got an email from The New York Times.
他们说：“今年夏天有73本书可以读”
They’re like, “Here’s 73 books to read this summer.”
你根本不了解我兄弟
I’m like, “You don’t know me at all, man.”
退订
Unsubscribe.
73本书
Seventy-three books.

特雷弗·诺亚：但愿你可以（2022）– 经典英文台词、英语剧本原文翻译、中英文字幕对照

帕布莉卡 — Sun, 23 Apr 2023 01:19:48 +0000

特武土德欧豆
Po-ta-toes-zah. Zah.
土豆
Potatoes.
宝贝
Baby. Baby.
Can I hear it without the house for a second?
能不能先把背景音关一下?
就是这样
Yep. Yep. [drawn-out] Yep.
“All those who try…”
“那些想⋯”
好了打开所有声效
All right, bring it all in.
“女士们先生们
“Ladies and gentlemen
在那红色的角落⋯”
in the red corner…”
-“作为南非裔⋯” -“就是这样”
– “As a South African…” – Yep. Yep. Yep.
“在那红色的角落⋯”
“In the red corner…”
-“我收到了好多⋯” -“美国”
“I’ve had so many, so many of them…”
“Americans.”
-“就是这样” -“作为一个美国人”
– Yep. Yep. – “As Americans…”
“作为一个美国人”
“As Americans…”
“我意识到⋯
-“You gotta realize…” -“Never again.”
这不是问题”
“…it’s not a question.”
有一个地方⋯
♪ There’s a place… ♪
“好多⋯”
“So many…”
-“⋯而是如何做” -“我试过⋯”
– “…but rather of how.” – “I’ve tried…”
-“我就知道我们能行” -“我明白⋯ ”
– “Gotta know that yes, we can.” – “I know…”
Yep.
就是这样
Where are all the people? Why are there no people here?
人都去哪了?怎么没人呢?
什么叫我来早了?
What do you mean, I’m early?
Ahh.
声音听起来很棒
Yeah, that sounds amazing.
特雷弗·诺亚:但愿你可以
最近怎么样加拿大多伦多?
What’s going on, Toronto, Canada?
大家还好吗?
How you doing, everybody?
欢迎来看我的节目!
Welcome to the show! Welcome to the show! Thank you so much for coming out!
欢迎各位!谢谢你们来看!
我们做到了!
We made it!
我们做到了
Oh, we made it.
真的很了不起
This is so amazing.
离开太久了真的太久了
What a long time. It has been too long.
太久了但现在我们回来了
Too long. But we’re back.
And it’s so good to see you all again.
再次见到大家真的很开心
Oh, man, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed this so much.
我想念舞台我想念这一切
我想念巡回表演的感觉
I’ve missed going around the world.
我想念人们的语言和文化
I’ve missed people’s languages and cultures.
我们刚在欧洲演过感觉太棒了
We just did Europe as well. It was so fantastic.
One of my dreams came true.
这实现了我的一个梦想
我第一次去了瑞士
I got to go to Switzerland for the first time.
这是我的梦想之一
One of my dreams.
有些观众可能不知道我解释一下为什么这是我的梦想
If you don’t know this about me, I’ll tell you why it was such a big dream.
因为我妈妈是来自南非的科萨黑人
My mother is a Black woman, Xhosa woman, from South Africa.
我也是在南非长大的
I grew up in South Africa, right?
Molweni, molweni.
My dad is a Swiss man from Switzerland. White man, right?
而我爸爸是来自瑞士的白人
但我从来没去过瑞士
And so, I never got to go to Switzerland.
后来我有能力去了但又没时间
Then, when I got the chance, I never made the time.
所以一直没去成最近我终于第一次
Then I couldn’t go. Then finally now, we went to Switzerland
去了瑞士
for the first time.
仿佛整个人都被解放了
And it was liberating.
原因是这样的
‘Cause here’s the thing.
从我出生以来
My whole life, my whole life
我一直都觉得我爸不是真的爱我
I have always felt like my dad didn’t really love me.
你们懂吗?
Okay?
但是最近我去瑞士见了他之后
And then now, when I went and met him in Switzerland
我才发现不是那样的
I was like, “No.”
那只是因为他是瑞士人
“He’s just Swiss.”
They’re all like that.
瑞士人都那样
不过还是有点奇怪
It was a bit weird, though.
因为我想给他个惊喜
I tried to surprise him, though.
Right? I tried to surprise him by learning German.
所以我学了德语希望给他个惊喜
我们俩很久没见了
We hadn’t seen each other for a while.
因为他说的是德语所以我想给他个惊喜
Because he speaks German, I thought I’d surprise him on the trip.
于是我开始到多邻国上学德语
You know? I went on Duolingo, did a bunch of studying.
后来又去了德国把学的东西都练习了一遍
And I got to Germany. Like, practiced the whole thing.
最后到瑞士的时候我很有把握
Got to Switzerland, was like, “Oh, this is it.”
也有很自信觉得一定能给我爸个惊喜
I was ready. Like, “I’m gonna surprise my dad.”
我本来想的是直接去他家
I planned to get to his house, knock on the door.
他开门后会惊喜地说:“特雷弗!”
He’d open it, surprised, like, “Oh! Trevor!”
然后我说:“爸爸我会说德语了”
Then I’d be like, “Papa, ich sprechen Deutsch!”
他会回答我:“哈?我爱你!”
He was gonna be like, “Huh? Ich liebe dich!”
最后我们俩会⋯
Be like…
Was gonna be a whole thing. I had it all planned out.
我本来计划好了一切
但现实并没有按计划进行
Didn’t go according to plan.
I got there. He was surprised. He was happy. But as soon as I spoke
他见到我之后的确很惊喜很开心但等我一开口
“爸爸我会说德语了”
I was like, “Papa, ich sprechen Deutsch!”
结果他说:“别这样”
He was like, “Don’t do that. Don’t do that, huh?”
“No, don’t do that. No.”
“不别这样”
学习德语对我来说是个奇怪的经历
Learning German has been a weird journey for me.
我之所以想学德语是因为我爸家的大部分人说的都是德语
You know? I wanna speak it because most of my family speaks it on my dad’s side.
但是我⋯
But I…
我发现我的德语有些不好的地方
I’ve learned a few things about my German which haven’t been great.
我当时在德国
I was in Germany
在一个叫科隆的地方拜访亲戚
visiting some extended family in a place called Cologne.
那是个美丽的城市如果你没去过一定要去
Beautiful city. If you’ve never been, you should go.
那里特别美
Stunning. Stunning place.
当时我和朋友罗尔夫在一起
And one of my friends, Rolf, was with me in the city. Right?
One day Rolf turns to me, like…
有一天罗尔夫对我说:“特雷弗
“Trevor, you know, today maybe we should have
“不如今天我们去尝传统的德国菜吧?
a traditional German meal, ja?”
你想吃传统的德国菜吗?
“You want to eat something traditionally German?”
我带你去吃好吗?”
“Ja, we’re going to take you, okay?”
我说:“听起来很棒罗尔夫我们要吃什么?”
I was like, “That sounds amazing, Rolf. What are we gonna have?”
他说:“你听说过赛百味吗?”
He’s like, “Ah, okay, have you heard of Subway?”
“I don’t think that’s German, Rolf.”
“那好像不是德国菜罗尔夫”
他说:“不我只是想帮助你理解
He’s like, “Nein, nein. I’m just saying to understand the chain.”
“Right? Where you’re going to be having the sandwiches
你懂吗?那是个卖♥♥三明治的店
里面有面包你还能选配料”
und you are having the bread und choosing the toppings.”
我说:“我知道赛百味是怎么回事”
Like, “Yeah, I know how Subway works, man.”
他说:“那好我带你去的就是德国版的赛百味
He’s like, “Okay. Ach so, I want to take you to a German version, ja?”
但比那好吃绝对好吃
“Better than that. Better.”
都是上等的面包和肉你必须要去”
“Like, with the best bread und meat. You have to go.”
然后我们就去了而且他没骗人
So he took me, and he wasn’t lying.
我们进到了这个三明治店里
So we go to this sandwich shop.
看起来历史特别悠久
It’s, like, 50 years old.
所有东西都很德国我们进去后我心想
Everything is in German. We walk in, I was like
就是这里了!
“Oh, this is it!”
虽然不是我爸的家但我可以在这里练习德语
“Might not be my dad’s house, but this is where I can practice my German.”
Rolf looks at me, like, “Would you like me to order?”
罗尔夫看着我说: “你想让我帮你点餐吗?”
我说:“不我自己来点”
I was like, “No, Rolf, I’ll… I’ll order the food.”
他说:“好吧你要付钱吗?”
He’s like, “Okay, you’re going to buy the food?”
“不是你付钱我只是想点餐”
Like, “No, you’re gonna buy. I just wanna order it.”
“I just wanna practice my German.”
“我只是想练习德语”
他说:“他们可能听不懂你的话
He’s like, “But they might not understand you, ja?”
因为德语很难⋯”
“Because German can be diff–”
我说:“我可以搞定罗尔夫”
I was like, “Yo, I got this, Rolf. I got this.”
我走向柜台柜台的女士非常友好
So I walk up to the counter. The woman was really friendly.
她说:“您好有什么需要我帮忙的吗?”
Like, “Guten Tag, kann ich dich helfen?”
我说:“你好!”
I was like, “Guten tag!”
“Ich will ein kleinen Broten haben, bitte schön!”
“我要一个小面包”
“黑面包加奶酪”
“Das schwarze Broten mit dem Käse!”
“烤牛肉”
“Und das Schinken, bitte schön!”
“还有一杯百事可乐!谢谢!”
“Und gib für mich ein Pepsi Cola! Danke!”
她快吓屎了
And she shat herself.
我永远都不会忘记
I’ll never forget the look
那个女人脸上的表情
in that woman’s face.
她吓呆了她盯着我说
She was petrified. She stared at me and was like…
“Der Schwarze Hitler!”
“黑人希♥特♥勒♥!”
Which means “the Black Hitler.”
意思就是“黑人希♥特♥勒♥”